Diaries of The Harry Potter Students
by MoonLost
Summary: The title is a DEAD give away But If you need help, This is my first FF that was quite popular on Forums. Its sick humor and all through Suggestion. Its for all the sick minds who wish for Harry Potter to be,well, Screwed Up


Diary of Harry Potter:  
  
Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
I'm famous! I'm bloody famous and I can't get a hot chick, all I got was some stupid Blonde dude who wears too much hair gel checking me out at the Robe place! The dude told me some crap about Broom and Flying! I think the gel is getting to his head! Well Hopefully I wont see him on the train!  
  
Oh I also found out how my folks died! Some dude killed them but nobody can remember his name so they call him-HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED! People should honestly swallow their pride and admit they can't remember! I got a white owl! It's a real crap B-day present but I smiled and thanked Hagrid-Now I have to clean its crap up! I called her Hedwig cose she looks like the dude from Hedwig and the angry inch!  
  
Well got to go and get good seats on train and see my adoring public!  
  
Harry  
  
The Diary of Ron Weasley  
  
Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Didn't get much sleep this morning since the sun reflects on my room! Mum says I should get it done dark but the CC Team would not approve they make me feel classy. Went to Diagon Ally and saw some hotties and saw this ugly girl with frizzy hair. Looked like a bloody poodle! Well I met this dude with lots of hair gel in the robes place, The woman said he was there for the 8th time! He was giving me the eye, he decided to leave when my mum said we couldn't afford new robes.  
  
The strangest thing happened today-I walked into the bathroom and Fred was bathing George! A bit freaky, they hate the lavender bubble bath but were smelling each other. Sorta left when they asked me to join!  
  
Have to go and get on the Bloody Train. Thank goodness that seats are for free.  
  
Ron  
  
The Diary of Draco Malfoy Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
I just finished packing for Hogwarts! I could only take 6 bags of Hair gel but my parents will send me more next week when I'm finished with the six bags! I forgot to tell you about this Hottie I met at the Robes place! I wished he had to take off more, but he acted queer and left!  
  
I have to go now to get on this stupid train! Hogwarts Express-Who calls a train Hogwarts Express. At least Hottie will be there!  
  
Draco  
  
The Dairy of Fred Weasley  
  
Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
Last night was amazing, George and I shared a wonderful lavender bubble bath and leftovers. I think Ron needs to go on a diet for he eats more than me and George put together. When we went to Diagon Ally he was stalking this Blonde Dude who was buying bags of hair gel.  
  
Then he tried to pick up this poodle looking girl but then she turned him down. Now he keeps telling us how ugly she is.  
  
Well Ron has been strange lately! He was spying on us during our bath and asked if he could join. We turned him down. Shame he is even tuning to Ginny. Well he'll go for therapy.  
  
Fred  
  
The Diary of George Weasley  
  
Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
I am concerned about Ron, he stole my pink undies, I was trying to pack my bag when he came in and asked to help. I worry about him!  
  
Fred gave me a nice back rub this morning then he left. I think he is cheating on me! He has the worst excuse: just because we are related! How pathetic! I knew this would happen! He has been after Wood for years! I can't believe it!  
  
Oh bitter sorrow! Well Ginny just came in and asked if I had anything to cure Ron's madness. I think Ron is nervous for his first day!  
  
Shame he was so cute at birth! Now he is an Oxygen Thief!  
  
Must go! Need a speech prepared for Fred!  
  
George  
  
The Diary of Oliver Wood  
  
Day 1  
  
We lost the BIG QUIDDITCH MATCH! England lost! We never lose!  
  
I can't believe I have to be on the train while the finals are going on!!!! I still have to pack I have 10 minutes but the commentating is going on.  
  
Now I'm packed, Check List:  
  
1. Broom!  
  
2. Quidditch Posters  
  
3. Sighed Quidditch books  
  
4. Tactics  
  
5. Lucky Teddy Bear  
  
6. Hogwarts stuff  
  
You'll never guess who owled me the other day-Fred! Well I thought it was about Quidditch but he asked some question about love and crap.Hope he isn't in love with someone, he'll lose concentration. Besides he has been a bit. Queer around me.  
  
I still believe that I am the hottest guy on the team. 3 years left! Yeah!  
  
Oh mental note: Look for seeker!  
  
Well got to go and pack my mini view so I can watch the finals  
  
Oh and must bring calendar for COUNTDOWN TILL QUIDDITCH WORLDCUP!  
  
Oliver  
  
The Diary of Hermione Granger  
  
Day1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
I just took four Prozacs, I packed last night in case we had to leave early.  
  
I just revised all our textbooks and know all practical elements.  
  
I am ever so worried about passing the exams. My hair wouldn't go all poofy today so I stuck it in the dryer.  
  
When I went to Diagon Ally I saw this pathetic boy who had red hair, He was checking out this blonde boy! I haven't time for this.  
  
I have to repack and do it again just in case.  
  
On the 2nd time I realized I forgot my Dental Hygiene kit.  
  
I also think that they forgot some of my classes, cose I only have about 10! I will make sure later.  
  
Well have to go and repack.  
  
Hermione  
  
The Diary of Prof. Snape  
  
Day 1  
  
Mr Diary  
  
I have to inform you that going back to Hogwarts is but a dull feeling that I too hate. The Carribean was fun! Met a Poisons Mistress! Got her number! Go me! She was quite Hot! But the highlight was my new plan to get rid of.....THE DEFENCE AGAINST THE DARK ARTS TEACHER!!!! dum dum dum daaaaaa!!!! Then I will rule the school!  
  
*Mental note to self-Bring up with Potions mistress*  
  
Well off to pack, you know all the black hair dye and plans!  
  
Snape  
  
The Diary of Neville Longbottom  
  
Day 1  
  
Dear Diary  
  
I am going to um.Well I'm going by boat or car or horse-Can't remember!  
  
Well the thing leaves at um. 9:34 on platform 11! Gran packed for me so I wouldn't forget. Gran says I smell funny she asked me if I bathed, I forgot about bathing so I just got out. Yesterday I went to Diagon Ally and saw this dude staring at the Quidditch supply shop, he was drooling, and he was twitching and well having a fit that it wasn't open. Oh and I saw this poodle looking girl, but she was so pretty-The hair is off putting but maybe she'll like me! My Gran is shouting now.. Something about a train, WHAT THE HELL?  
  
Got to go.. Apparently my Gran is going on a train to a place called Hogwarts! Wonder where that is?  
  
Um.Oh right Neville (Almost forgot my name) 


End file.
